Stock up on some Blueberry Kush and buy yourself a nightlight. Happy Halloween!

I have never been one of those people that gets paranoid when I smoke. It loosens me up, calms me down, and makes everything a little softer. So it seems a little counterintuitive to put on a scary or tense movie, produced with a singular purpose: to freak us the fuck out.

Alas, the thrill of fear is an addictive one. And since there isn’t always a roller coaster nearby…

10. Dolls

This is the first scary movie I ever saw. I was sleeping over at Jessica Cruz’s house when she put this on–by the end I was calling my mother to pick me up. Basically, the dolls attack some people and turn them into dolls. Nothing groundbreaking. But when I re-watched it as a stoned teenager, even I had to admit that the “young at heart” moral was HILARIOUSLY demonstrated. Bonus: classic 80s evil stepmother trope.

9. Hush

A deaf woman living in the woods is stalked by a murderer. What?! Yeah. Flipping the script on the usual horror movie tradition of a young girl screaming her heart out, Maddie must communicate only with writing. She is terrorized by the man, captive in her own home. If you are the more paranoid type, this will certainly feed into any home invasion nightmares you’ve had. Eat some pot cookies and prepare to hold your breath for the duration.

8. The Thing

One of the reasons we like suspense and horror movies is the “whodunnit” vibe: everyone wants to be a sleuth. As the alien assimilates one human and then another, we the viewers get to participate in trying to figure out who it is. But this is a distraction from John Carpenter’s real point: the poison of distrust. Get into some heavy sativa and never look at your friends the same way again.

7. Carrie

I watched Sissy Spacek lose her shit when I was about 17. The story of an outcast being tortured by her classmates, not to mention her Bible thumping mother. The very end makes you question what you just watched in a perfect manner, as one would expect from Brian de Palma bringing Stephen King to life. And don’t even think about coming at me with the reboot.

6. Saw

Campy, gruesome, gory, and ridiculous, Saw brought campy horror back after the Scream franchise kind of classed it up. This is a slasher film version of a very common ethics dilemma, with exactly the twists we hope for. I re-watched it the other night baked out of my mind; it was hilarious.

5. Halloween

I mean, you say Jamie Lee Curtis and I am instantly in. For those more discerning, this is peak John Capenter: young and innocent Curtis saving the kids she’s babysitting from murderous Michael Myers. Classic horror clich├ęs abound: the hapless adult trying to keep the villain contained; the virginal heroine; the sexually promiscuous victims. Leading me to….

4. Scream

I am 35, so Scream isn’t just a scary movie: it was a cultural juggernaut when it was released in 1996. Party of Five‘s Neve Campbell, dirty hottie Skeet Ulrich, Friends-famous Courteney Cox, and Drew freaking Barrymore. It took all of the familiar horror stereotypes and turned them on their head…even while still completely adhering to them. Whether scary or not, this is ultimate 90s awesomeness.

3. This is the End

While perhaps not technically a horror movie, I don’t really understand why it wouldn’t be. I mean, Rihanna dies. Following the immense success of Superbad and Pineapple Express, Rogen and Goldberg choose to direct this time. With all of the characters playing a version or spoof of themselves breaks the fourth wall in a unique way. But really all you need to know is it’s a stoner horror movie made by stoners for stoners. Check, check, check.

2. The Shining

I hesitated to include this because it’s so obvious—but the truth is, I truly love watching Jack Nicholson when I’m high. I don’t know why! This is no exception: Stephen King is the master of suspense and creepy plot twists, and this is widely considered his opus. Constantly quoted and referred to, this film is a pop culture gem.

1. Nightmare on Elm Street

I think this is the best scary movie of all time. BECAUSE: it is hilariously camp and genuinely fucking terrifying at the same time. You laugh as you watch, giggling at the overwrought panic spreading among the group of friends (including the film debut of Johnny Depp) and parents. Wes Craven (also responsible for Scream) has us on the edge of our seats, as every time it seems like it’s all figured out child killer Freddy Krueger comes back for vengeance.

Stock up on some Blueberry Kush and buy yourself a nightlight. Happy Halloween!

Categories: CULTURE FILM