If you have not seen all 7 seasons of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, your life is…I don’t want to say “of no value,” but definitely “morbidly incomplete”.

Sometimes you don’t catch a trend the first time around. For example, I had a hair crimper in 1998, but it was too much effort to use but THEN when it came back in style in 2016, I had the age, experience and time to properly— oh what’s that? It never came back? What the heck! I’ll have to have a word with my stylist at J-14!

The good thing about Netflix (other than it’s ability to single-handedly demolish the television industry by inflating it with so much nonsense like The Ranch that good shows become increasingly obsolete…but I digress) is that you get a second chance to watch all the amazing (or terrible) shows you may have missed because you’re either too young, unable to watch every show on planet earth, or (most likely) culturally unsound. No worries pals, I’m here to educate you on what you HAVE to watch if you have not watched it.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

I’ll start with a basic selection. If you have not seen all 7 seasons of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, your life is…. I don’t want to say “of no value,” but definitely “morbidly incomplete”. Why? Here’s why. Because this show pioneered so many techniques that tweens later ate up like bubble gum.

First of all, it is the OG vampire show. None of this Twilight or Vampire Diaries BS. Buffy encompasses what vampires are SUPPOSED TO BE: mean soulless creatures. Not helpful brothers or sparkling in the sun. Secondly, it perfected the quick wit dialogue we have come to know and love in other such classics as Gilmore Girls, Scream Queens, etc. This is not a generic television show. It has PERSONALITY. AND FINALLY, it has literally every element of every genre possible: supernatural, horror, romance, comedy, action, THRILLER, PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER, ROM COM, THE LIST GOES ON AND ON! WATCH THIS EFFING SHOW!!!!!!!

Cheers

This one is on american Netflix, which I have, because I’m a criminal and I have a plug-in for it (and don’t lie, so do all of you, and if you don’t, get ON it!) Cheers is literally rated as one of the most popular television series of all time – the original sitcom, embodying life’s simple pleasures. Regular patrons attend a Boston bar called Cheers, and they just hang out and drink and talk about their day…but WAIT there’s more; somehow they get away with shooting ALL 10 SEASONS INSIDE THE BAR. YOU NEVER LEAVE. EVERY SCENE IN ALL 10 SEASONS. INSIDE THE BAR! WILD! So it’s not so much a show, as it is a PLAY if you will. Anyway, because of this, the dialogue is SO good, so funny, really paints a picture, and gives you the “friends in a group having fun” vibe that Friends later copied and made big (although still did not get as highly rated as Cheers. Take that in!)

Pretty Little Liars

Did I lose you at this one? Probably. Whatever, I’ll just keep typing to an empty room. This show I like, because if you’re like me, the early 2000’s were your time to shine. And this show really captures that time in all its heinous glory. Everyone has a flip phone, OR a slide up phone, and everyone is dressed like garbage THE WHOLE SHOW. Like, I don’t know who their fashion consultants were, perhaps the same assholes at J-14 who told me crimped hair was back in. But there are blogs on blogs tearing this show a new asshole for dressing the girls on it….in a way that is…beyond repair. On top of it, it’s a mystery that gets deeper and juicier every season, and the dialogue is GARBAGE. Literally no one talks to each other the way people talk on this show. They’re all losers. The show is trash. PERFECT to mindlessly binge watch while being transported to what is widely known as the world’s best decade!

Prison Break

Okay, we’re back with a true hit. This show BLEW UP our televisions from 2004-2009 (the glory years). Think about how much people talked about Breaking Bad, that’s maybe 1/8th of how much people gushed about Prison Break, because it featured everyone’s favourite hero, WENTWORTH MILLER. One must wonder — who the hell is named Wentworth anymore? I honestly don’t have a lot to say about this show, but if the title doesn’t give it away, it’s about breaking out of prison, and brotherly love. The brotherly love part I’m just telling you. One brother is wrongly committed of a crime and sentenced to death, so the other one devises a plan to break him out. Watch this if you like epic fast-paced dramas like Lost or 24, and if you haven’t heard of either of those things, then… I honestly don’t know. Google them. Add them to your own personal list. I don’t have time to write about every show on planet earth right now, come on!

Grey’s Anatomy

Grey’s Anatomy is the second best hospital drama after General Hospital, which will never be on Netflix because I think it’s actually somehow still on cable, 25 years later. Grey’s Anatomy is known for its consistent tragedies, which destroy its viewers. If you think your life is bad, just watch Grey’s Anatomy. It’s juicy, it’s full of romance, a SMIDGE of comedy, there are interesting patients and storylines involving their mysterious illnesses, (a la House) questions of human morals and how these doctors handle matters of life and death, and most importantly, basically everyone dies WILDLY tragic, insanely unbelievable deaths. You will be HYSTERICAL by the time this show is over. You will develop a phobia of Seattle. But let me tell you, it is worth EVERY. MINUTE.

Next time, I’ll tell you about some old movies that are so, so bad, but still somehow must watches on Netflix. The 2010’s: a time we have devoted to reliving the past. Gotta love it!

Categories: CULTURE TELEVISION